Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day – a time to recognize the real struggles families face after a loss. Let’s raise awareness, share stories and kindness to families all around the world. Remind them that they are not alone.
Laura Hoffman is the proud mother of a five-year-old son and two-year-old daughter. Laura believes that pregnancy is a time that can be both joyous and fraught. She’s also a licensed acupuncturist. This is her story…
“The subject of fertility, and the journey to find it, is one I hold very dear to my heart. Prior to even thinking of making babies, I assumed subconsciously that for the most part, a miscarriage was associated with doing something wrong. After getting married, I got pregnant and had no doubt in my mind that it would be pure happy times ahead. I immediately told loved ones, even my boss.
On the way home from work I got a call from my doctor telling me my counts didn’t look good, and I would most likely experience a miscarriage within the next day or two. I remember I was about to step down onto the 6 train on a very busy 51st street entrance and suddenly, time stopped. I burst into tears and everything around me became a blur. I cried the whole way home on the subway, heartbroken and completely devastated. I was shattered and guilt ridden that somehow I had caused this.
Later on when I got pregnant, I was amazed and scared throughout the whole pregnancy that this beautiful, growing, amazing experience could be taken from me at any time. I slowly found comfort in a very unlikely place – the internet. It was filled with women who were at a loss for what they had done wrong. It was also filled with information I desperately needed to be drilled into my brain like a mantra. That a miscarriage – or miscarriages – are wildly common. While some women are fortunate not to experience them, many more do. Yet there’s a taboo like cloud that surrounds the experience, where women feel they must go through the loss and whispered experience on their own, behind closed doors.
Because of this, I’d like to put my experience into the world. I hope that someone out there who had a miscarriage reads this and finds solace that they are not alone, that they did nothing wrong, and that they are 100% validated in all the powerful range of feelings that comes with this experience.”
You are not alone
- Visit Share Your Story®, our online community where families who have lost a baby can talk to and comfort each other. Sharing your family’s story may ease your pain and help you heal.
- Visit our new Wall of Remembrance, a space for parents and loved ones living with a loss to pay tribute and share their story.