I’m NOT sexually dysfunctional. I’m just really tired.

63323191_thbI don’t need medical treatment. I’m not depressed. There’s nothing wrong with me. I don’t need to be “fixed”. It’s just a stage we’re going through as a new family. What I do need is some time, some rest and a little understanding. I haven’t slept through the night in 424 days. I’m still nursing at night. I brush my teeth with a baby on my hip. I am preoccupied and my priorities have shifted. And, I don’t see this as a bad thing either. This is the most important role I’ve ever played. I still love my husband, but I’m distracted. It’s hard to relax and focus on him knowing that the baby might wake up any minute. It won’t always be this way. We’ll get it back.

Why do I bring this up? Read for yourself by clicking here and let me know what you think. I came across this article and I’m feeling a little defensive about the topic. I can only speak for myself, but medication? Come on. It’s only natural to abstain from sex after a baby is born. We need medicine for this? A co-worker (DGR…you’re too funny) suggested jokingly, “perhaps they should make a medication for him to reduce his urges and let his poor wife get some sleep.”  HA! What are your thoughts on this…and let’s keep it clean folks ; )

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5 Responses to “I’m NOT sexually dysfunctional. I’m just really tired.”

  1. jill Says:

    I agree that you have to schedule time for sex, and the man has to realize that the last thing on a woman’s mind may be the first on his, but he may have to work a little harder (you know, chipping in on ALL of the honey do list, not just picking up socks once and expecting a big return) for a considerable amount of time before a woman can feel great. When she does feel great? You have to go for it! Oh and who can afford date night? It’s almost impossible with a nursing mom (unless you pump and freeze) and if you are far from family. We are looking forward to JULY when we are going to my cousin’s wedding and my parents can take the baby back to the hotel early, so we can talk, dance and have a good time. Yup, in 4 months we might get our first ‘date’ in almost 2 years. No matter how hard you work at it, date night at home doesn’t work, either. Baby is always going to wake up. Those of your readers who have family nearby, count your blessings, don’t take those free babysitters for granted, and give them a bonus of something every now and then as a thank you (bring them a pizza for dinner when they sit, etc).

  2. Anne Says:

    Hi Jill,
    Thanks for sharing. And I agree. A woman needs to feel supported and close to her partner in order to be intimate. I don’t think they realize that small gestures (such as helping around the house…on a regular basis) can make a huge difference in our energy and attention levels.
    Have a great time at the wedding. It’s nice to have something to look forward to, isn’t it? Our big night out recently was an 85 year old’s birthday party. LOL. Whatever…I’ll take it. Excitement and spontaneity are on the back burner for now. It is what it is. Again thanks for your comment.

  3. Carrie Says:

    I wasn’t quite as offended by the article. I mean, don’t get me wrong, my husband and I definitely chatted about how things would change for us (including our sex life) after baby would be here – by the way, she just arrived this weekend 🙂 He was honestly a little shocked at first that I would need 6 weeks of physical recovery before the doctor would clear me my that kind of activity, not even starting in on the fact that I may not be in the mood and exhausted. But, in the last several weeks of my pregnancy I was put on bed rest and my superman of a husband had to do the dishes, the cooking, the laundry, feed/walk the dog and still went to work for pretty long hours. Occasionally, he would ask “Honey, could you put the dishes away?” and I would have to say to him, “No, I really can’t honey. I’m sorry.” I felt a little bad for him, but he took it in great stride and quickly came to understand just how tiring it was going to be with a newborn in the house. My sweetheart has been super supportive and, though we haven’t even gotten home with our little one yet, I can imagine that we’ll be on the same page when it comes to intimacy and carving out some time when we are both ready.

  4. Anne Says:

    Congrats on the arrival of your little girl, Carrie! Hope you and baby are well and resting. Best of luck getting settled at home, too. Your husband sounds like a terrific guy. You have such a positive outlook on your relationship. I like how you said, “carving out some time when we are BOTH ready.” Mutuality is so important in sexual relationships. Thanks so much for your comment. Take good care and kiss that precious baby from all of us here at NMN.

  5. Heather Says:

    Ha ha I’m all for the man drug to reduce the urge. I SO DO NOT find it to be a grown up bonding time or whatever. I think if you have energy to do “it” you obviously aren’t pulling your weight in this endeavor. Maybe that’s why I am a zombie!