It is impossible to put into words the pain a mom experiences after having a loss.
Mother’s Day can be a joyful time to celebrate motherhood, but it can also trigger feelings of sadness and grief if you’ve experienced a miscarriage, stillbirth or your baby died soon after birth. You may be overwhelmed by your feelings of loss. You’re not alone.
You may have dreaded this day, not knowing if you will be “left out” because your arms are empty. Your heart may be full of emotions and mixed feelings. Mother’s Day is not always a happy day.
Your dreams of holding your baby and watching him grow have completely changed. So much of what you wanted and planned for feels lost. It takes time to heal.
Grieving and remembering
Every person grieves in his or her own way. There are no rules about how long grieving takes. Take as much time as you need to grieve. If you want, you can do special things to remember your baby. You may want to:
- Tell us your story in our supportive community, unspokenstories.org. Voicing your experience can help you and others heal and connect.
- Write your thoughts and feelings in a journal, or write letters or poems to your baby. Tell your baby how you feel and how much you miss her. Or paint a picture of her.
- Light a candle or say a prayer in honor of your baby on holidays or special days.
- Plant a tree or a small garden in honor of your baby.
- Have a piece of jewelry made with your baby’s initials or her birthstone.
Getting support
You are not alone. You can find others who share your experience, by visiting:
- Share Your Story. The March of Dimes online community where parents who have lost a baby can talk to and share experiences with each other.
- Wall of Remembrance. A space for parents and loved ones living with loss to pay tribute and share their story.
For more information
- From hurt to healing (free booklet from the March of Dimes for grieving parents.)
- Visit marchofdimes.org/loss
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