Posts Tagged ‘infant loss’

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

Friday, October 13th, 2017

The loss of a baby is one of the most painful things that can happen to a family. If your baby died during pregnancy, in the first days of life, or even as an infant, you and your family may need support to find ways to deal with your grief and ease your pain.

October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day – a time to pause and remember all angel babies.

It is important to know that parents and families are not alone in their grief. Connecting with others going through the same or a similar situation can help you process your grief. We invite all families to share and connect in our online community Share Your Story. The families in our community know what you are going through and can offer support during this devastating time and in the days ahead.

We provide resources that may help you understand what happened and how to deal with the daily pain of your loss. We encourage you to visit our website if you are looking for resources for families that have lost a baby or ways to remember your baby.

If you would like to receive our free bereavement materials, email us at AskUs@marchofdimes.org with your mailing address.

Loss affects entire families every day, in different ways. Read one heartfelt story of loss as seen through the eyes of a sibling.

The March of Dimes is so very sorry for your loss. We are here for you.

Living with loss

Wednesday, July 8th, 2015

yellow butterflyFor families that suffer from the unspeakable pain of losing a baby, their grief continues for a lifetime. It may ebb and flow; it may be more acute at anniversaries or when something triggers a memory. It may even seem to be out of mind for periods of time, but it is never gone completely. A woman starts loving her baby from the moment of conception and this love continues throughout her entire life. Similarly, the feelings of sadness and loss continue because a parent’s love has no end.

At the March of Dimes, women have written to us after suffering a miscarriage or stillbirth, asking when they will “get over” the loss of their baby. This is a question that is impossible to answer. Your life will go on – all the chores, jobs, responsibilities and even parties continue. But, the reminders will be there always, with the sadness and deep disappointment to go along with it.

I know a woman who lost her baby boy 31 years ago. She had tried for years to become pregnant, so her pregnancy was an especially joyous time for her. The immense happiness was followed by intense grief on the day of her son’s birth, as he lived for only a few hours. Even though she eventually went on to have a healthy baby, she still mourns the loss of her son. She marks her son’s birth and death every year, and continues to remember him. Her pain is palpable, even though so many years have gone by since that heartbreaking time.

Acknowledging and talking about the loss of her baby has helped her to know that her son was real, and that her grief is legitimate. She had bonded with her baby from the moment she learned she was pregnant. To ask her to forget about this tiny person would be ridiculous.

The pain of losing a baby is one that many women struggle with for life. Perhaps it is because the baby never got the chance to grow up and follow his dreams. Or, maybe it is because the mom is denied the natural desire to nurture her child and watch him grow up. Losing a child is like a double wallop- you lose your child and the dreams that go along with him.

It’s so unfair.

If you have suffered a pregnancy or infant loss, you may want to reach out to others who will understand your unique pain. You may find a local support group in your area, or you can join our online community, Share Your Story where you will meet other women who know what living with loss is all about. You are not alone.

The March of Dimes has written a booklet called From Hurt to Healing to help families understand their grief. It explains grief and how men and women grieve differently. It talks about how to deal with your feelings, tells you how to ask for help, how to deal with family and friends, how to help other children understand. And it suggests ways to remember your baby. Two other booklets, What Can You Do? and When You Want to Try Again are part of a packet the March of Dimes offers free to bereaved parents who have suffered a loss. If you would like to receive a packet, send your name and address to AskUs@marchofdimes.org.

You will never forget your baby, but in time the power of love will help you find the strength to move forward and love again.

 

Comments or questions? Send them to AskUs@machofdimes.org.

View posts in the series on Delays and Disabilities: How to get help for your child.

 

Upcoming chats in November

Friday, October 25th, 2013

texting2We have pulled together a calendar of Twitter chats @MODHealthTalk for Prematurity Awareness Month. Mark them on your calendar and then come join us.

 

11/1 – Infant and baby loss, 9 PM ET. #losschat
11/7 – Bed rest with Keep ‘Em Cookin, 1 PM ET. #pregnancychat
11/14 – Going home after the NICU, 1 PM ET. #NICUchat
11/16 – Parenting in the NICU, 1 PM ET. #worldprematurityday (Part of the World Prematurity Network relay)
11/17 – Birth stories. World Prematurity Day, anytime all day. #birthstories.
11/20 – Early intervention: how to get help for your child. 1 PM ET. #preemiechat

Come chat with us about loss

Tuesday, September 13th, 2011

texting2So many women have suffered miscarriages, stillbirth or the early passing of a baby born too soon or due to a birth defect. Riding the rollercoaster of emotions is so very hard. Come share your thoughts, suggestions, support. What do you say to family and friends? How do you express what’s helpful and what’s hurtful? What helped you?

Join us on Twitter the evening of Wednesday, September 14th at 9 PM EDT for a chat about #infantloss.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day

Friday, October 15th, 2010

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. It’s a day we should not forget, a day we honor those little ones who are not here with us. The death of a baby is one of the most painful things that can happen to a family. It’s so unfair. Babies aren’t supposed to die. They are the beginning of life, not the end. Remembering is important, but coping with the pain of loss is difficult. I wanted to let you know about our bereavement materials.

You may have had a miscarriage or a stillbirth during pregnancy. Or your baby may have died at birth or after birth. You may have been overwhelmed by your feelings of loss. I know our family was when it happened to us.

The March of Dimes has written a booklet called From Hurt to Healing to help families understand their grief. It explains grief, talks about how to deal with your feelings, tells you how to ask for help, and suggests ways to remember your baby. It discusses the ways women and men grieve differently, and ways to help other children understand. We hope this and our other booklets and fact sheets help you find ways to heal and think about the future.

You can read about our bereavement material, available in English and Spanish, on our website. If you would like to have one of these helpful and free kits, please send an email requesting it to the following address: bkit@marchofdimes.org.  Be sure to include your complete mailing address.

Pregnancy after a loss

Tuesday, May 4th, 2010

flowerLosing a baby is something no parent should have to face but, sadly, it does happen to some people. After a baby dies, some parents want to try to get pregnant again as soon as possible, while others want to wait.  Some are afraid to try again because they are worried about losing another baby.  Some are very angry.  I think most couples go back and forth between wanting and not wanting to get pregnant again.

If this has happened to you, ask yourself how you feel about getting pregnant again.  Talk to your partner about your feelings and ask him how he feels.  He may feel differently, so share your concerns and make a plan that supports both of you.

Ask your provider when it’s OK for you to start trying for another pregnancy. Some women are told to wait at least 18 months before getting pregnant again.  This gives your body enough time to heal and your emotions time to settle.  But not all women can wait that long because of their age or other factors.  So, talk with your provider about your medical history and make a plan that’s best for you.  Be sure to get a preconception checkup with your provider, too, to make sure you’re as healthy as possible.  You’ll want to be taking a good multivitamin with at least 400 mcg of folic acid each day.

The March of Dimes has created bereavement materials available at no charge for parents or other family members who have experienced the loss of a baby between conception and the first month of life.  These include different fact sheets, three booklets (From Hurt to Healing; What Can You Do?, and When You Want to Try Again), and a list of grief resources.  They are available in English and Spanish.  You can read about some of these materials and order a free kit on our website.