BRACE yourself for your new normal. This is the acronym that keynote speaker Kevin Bracy imparted to dozens of women at the 10th annual ShareUnion in Phoenix, Arizona. ShareUnion (SU) is the annual gathering of members of Share Your Story, the online community of the March of Dimes, where parents reach out and support one another. This year’s theme was “Finding your new normal.”
The well-known motivational speaker inspired the women who face daily struggles associated with prematurity, infant loss, or raising a child with a developmental delay or disability. The speaker himself is no stranger to loss or the long term effects of prematurity. He and his wife, Jessica, have a 13 year old son who was born at 28 weeks gestation and suffers from significant challenges. Nine years ago, the Bracys lost a son who was born at just 22 weeks gestation. They also have a 21 year old daughter who is healthy. The Bracys embody the mission of the March of Dimes. Jessica has been a Share Your Story member for years, and sent her positive vibes to the group via her husband.
Bracy’s messages are universal, but they are best embraced by anyone who is faced with a constant struggle. His first message, BRACE yourself, (while crossing your arms over your chest with your hands in fists) is meant to help lift you up when you are feeling overwhelmed.
BRACE yourself stands for:
B – Be good to yourself – Be kind to yourself.
R – Regroup and refocus when you need to, especially when your life seems to be getting out of control.
A – Attitude – Always be attitude conscience. Let the “inner you be expressed by the outer you.”
C – Cause centered – Focus on the important people and things in your life.
E – Embrace change. Don’t fight it. Adapting will make your life better.
Accept, adapt and embrace your new normal. Don’t “go through” your challenges, “grow through them” Bracy says. For many SU moms, this advice resonated as they face the daily struggles of caring for a child with special needs as well as themselves and their families.
Mouth over mind – Bracy’s 2nd message
“When the mind goes negative, the mouth goes positive” Bracy explained. He recounted that the great fighter Muhammad Ali would talk out loud to himself before a fight. Ali would say he was the best and he was going to win. He spoke out loud to himself because he believed that his mind could talk his body into greatness. Bracy recommended that when your mind starts thinking of negative scenarios, quickly talk out loud, positively, and it will change the direction of your thoughts. Your mind can’t be negative if you are talking positively. By speaking out loud, you switch off your negative thoughts. Bracy then proved his point through a group exercise. Powerful stuff.
For families affected by prematurity, infant loss, disabilities or birth defects, Bracy’s messages were uplifting and inspiring. “Win the day, one day at a time” he concluded. Judging by the standing ovation he received, everyone became a winner that day.
Note: This post is part of the weekly series Delays and disabilities – how to get help for your child. It was started in January 2013 and appears every Wednesday. While on News Moms Need, select “Help for your child” on the menu on the right side to view all of the blog posts to date.
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